Meet the Flockers

by Restonian

Ever get the feeling you're being watched? The Restonian On Your Side I-Team "hit the

pavement" (logged onto AOL to Bing Ask Jeeves dot com) and found 18 Flock cameras

positioned around our earth-toned community, presumably tracking our daily comings and

goings. So yes, you most certainly are.

The usual hand-wringers will wring their hands about privacy. Fairfax County has paused adding new Flock cameras, and the county school board just passed an outright ban. But we're Restonians, by gum, and we're used to people with clipboards peering at our homes' siding through binoculars! We've got nothing to hide, except maybe that sconce that replaced an original 1960s outdoor light fixture, presumably made out of reclaimed Korean War munitions and asbestos, next to our front door.

But we digress. Let's put (tastefully earth-toned) Flock cameras on every square inch of Reston, and use their powers for good! Consider: Parking areas. It'll be the last time those jerks two doors down let their guests park in the clearly marked RESERVED SPACE #4. An added bonus if we spring for the attachment that crushes

noncompliant cars into suitcase-sized cubes.

Lakes. If these cameras can track every license plate, surely they can catch that one goose that keeps befouling the yard.

Pickleball courts. Mabel will think twice before heading over with her Silver Sneakers pals

without a reservation!

Town center. With their microscopic eye for detail, maybe they can find the non-chain retailers

and restaurants.

The golf courses. This one's a public safety issue. Without constant observation, we might wake up one morning to find one of the greens missing, replaced by a gaggle of "double stacked" townhouses, whatever those are, the end.