Senior year, senior you
By Meg Marsh, Reston neighbor
Most people can identify the feeling of trying to fit in versus truly belonging. The difference can be felt in friendships, on sports teams, at camp, among neighborhood kids and, eventually, at work. Fitting in requires some effort, paying attention to what everyone else is doing and adjusting accordingly. Belonging feels different. There is an ease to it. For many people, it takes years, sometimes well into adulthood, to recognize the difference.
That makes senior year of high school an interesting moment. At the exact time teenagers are being asked to make decisions about their futures, they are also surrounded by messages about what those futures are supposed to look like.
There is the dream college. The acceptance video. The perfectly decorated dorm room. There is also the quintessential senior year, the football games, Homecoming, prom, lifelong friendships and tearful goodbyes. Some teenagers genuinely want and experience all of those things. Others don't.
This season of future planning offers seniors an opportunity to think honestly about the pursuits that most closely match their interests, abilities, strengths, passions and personalities. It also requires accepting some less romantic realities: grades, test scores, finances and the difference between short-term desires and long-term goals.
Social media can make that difficult. An algorithm isn't designed to show a 17-year-old the enormous range of interesting ways a life might unfold. It learns what captures someone's attention and offers more of the same. A teenager watching a few college decision videos may quickly find a feed filled with picturesque campuses, acceptance celebrations and carefully curated dorm rooms. It can be entertaining. However, it is hardly a blueprint for what is right for an individual person.
Social media can also shape the way adolescence is remembered.
Teenage years have long been romanticized through movies, books, songs and stories. Social media has added emotional montages of childhood photographs, recreated pictures, senior-year "lasts" and reminders that an era is ending. There is something beautiful about recognizing the passage of time. Nostalgia is evidence that something mattered. But it is also possible to become nostalgic not only for what actually happened, but for what was supposed to happen.
Perhaps people can even miss a version of childhood they didn't quite have.
The perfect group of friends. The magical senior year. The sport played forever. The college experience imagined since childhood. There is nothing wrong with feeling sentimental about what is ending. (There is also nothing wrong with being ready for it to end.) As seniors consider what comes next, perhaps the most useful question isn't simply where they can get in or even where they should go. It may be where they can become more fully themselves.
The world is urgently in need of young adults pursuing joyful, congruent and industrious lives.
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