Counting what matters in Reston

by Restonian

Somehow, we missed the annual Reston Butterfly Count this summer. But thanks to a helpful Reston Association press release, we learned that while volunteers spotted plenty of different species, overall numbers were down. Sightings ranged from the European Cabbage White (which also happens to be a DRB-approved trim color) to the Huron Sachem Skipper (that abandoned floating dock), and the Common Wood Nymph (think closing time at one of RTC’s many fine watering holes).

But we digress. Why should we only count the bugs flitting through our plastic-fantastic planned community? They don’t even pay HOA dues! Here are some other things we, as Right-Thinking Restonians, might consider keeping tabs on:

• The number of times the police helicopter circles over Reston. Airborne like the butterflies, but with a distinct soupçon of suburban suspicion.

  
  

• The number of Facebook and Nextdoor posts about the police helicopter circling over Reston. Grab some extra scratch paper for this one.

  
  

• The number of vowels in apartment and business names. BLVD, VY, SWTHZ, the late-lamented BGR (RIP)—you could count them on one hand.

  
  

• The number of fish swimming on the jumbotron at Wiehle Metro. Great for keeping the kids occupied while you try to remember if you parked on level G95 or G96.

  
  

• The average indoor temperature in homes with Reston’s jet-age lake-cooled AC system. Bonus points for breaking triple digits!

  
  

• The number of green dots signifying open parking spaces in RTC garages. For extra fun, subtract the actual number of open spaces and order that many breadsticks at your favorite chain restaurant.

  
  

• The number of 90-degree angles in the new buildings rising near Wiehle Metro. You won’t need a lot of paper for this one.

  
  

• The number of walls meeting at 90-degree angles inside Reston’s 50-year-old homes. Another low number. Things improve with age—but don’t necessarily get more plumb.

  
  

• The number of golf balls sliced into the woods around Reston’s golf courses. If some folks have their way, that number may soon drop faster than the butterfly count.