I never thought I’d be writing about politics. For the last decade, I have heard from many people struggling with severe depression and anxiety, fear, disgust, and dread, not just about their personal challenges, but also about the political climate in our country. I hear first-hand about marriages, friendships, and family relationships that have deteriorated significantly in the last several years, and the problem has multiplied exponentially with the upcoming presidential election. I wonder how many relationships could be salvaged if, instead of trying to convince a loved one to vote one way or another, we all made a decision to make choices that work for us and allowed others to do the same? In the latest issue of the American Psychological Association’s “Monitor on Psychology,” several contributing psychologists agree that “politics is a form of chronic stress.” That is detrimental to our mental and physical health. How do we attempt to heal ourselves and repair our relationships at a time when so much is “at stake?”
As we approach the election, a potential starting point involves adopting and practicing an important mantra, everyone is fighting a battle we know nothing about. Writing a text or email or calling with that in mind allows us to pause and remember that the person we are texting/emailing/calling has a history and set of circumstances that contribute to one choice or another. While I am not generally a fan of making assumptions, if we can assume that the person on the receiving end of our communication is doing the best he/she/they can, perhaps we would be less inclined to try to convince them that we are “right” and they are “wrong.” It is actually okay to love someone and to disagree with them, even in the current overwhelming political climate. You can decide not to talk about politics, not to turn on the news (which includes not keeping one news outlet or another on as background noise), and not to repost or pass along controversial information from social media. Try simply showing up for others and talking about any number of topics (e.g. your grandson’s adjustment to college, your new job, or Aunt Carol’s new pie recipe), without fueling further tension and conflict. Conserve your energy rather than giving it away to someone whose mind isn’t changing. I imagine we will all need it in the months ahead.
Psych’d to see you next month!
Dr. S.
Dr. Hayley B. Sherwood is a longtime Clinical Psychologist in Reston/Herndon. To learn more, please visit her website at www.oakhillpsychological.com. Please visit the About Us section on our website to learn more about our NEW THERAPISTS!
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